Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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