TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
