make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
