Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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