That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
