Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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