Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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