What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
