All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
