apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
