Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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