i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
