Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
