You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
