I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
