Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
