You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
