Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
