the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
