so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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