Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
