I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
