when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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