She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
