Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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