hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
