I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
