Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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