I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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