You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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