think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
