could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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