I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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