White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i think i just lost a toe
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
