I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
