is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
