I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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