and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
