We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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