i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
