you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
