And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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