I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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