There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
