ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
