4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
