So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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