Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize