3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
