Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
