someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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