I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
